Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
