No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
