The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So much Jack, so little girl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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