If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
