They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
