DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
