I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
