i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
