just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i will never coherently bang her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
