So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
