Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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