and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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