He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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