coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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