So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
