I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
