Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
