Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
