he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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