I must be too annoying 4 u.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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