sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
