question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
