Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
