you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
