This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
