If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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