I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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