belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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