Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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