I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
