She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
