It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
