He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
