Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
