I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
