i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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