Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
