WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
