I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
