i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
