girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
