Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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