What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
