Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
