but the lizard people decide everything anyway
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
