dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
