Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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