next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
