i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
