Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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